Chapter 446: The Courage to Face Death
Xiao Chen’s hand clenched tightly, Xue Wei is not dead!
Qin Shuang’s eyes widened in shock, she gritted her teeth and looked at Xue Wei, all these grievances, it was all because of Xue Wei!
Zhan Lan explained to Zhan Beicang and Qin Shuang, "Father, Mother, ever since the midwife was murdered, I had my suspicions. Li must have an accomplice. To draw out this accomplice, I deliberately released the news that Zhan Xuerou was being pursued by King Wei, and unexpectedly, Xue Wei wasn’t really dead!"
Zhan Lan continued, "Moreover, yesterday I saw someone’s side profile at Tianlong Temple, a sneaky monk quietly appearing in the temple. Along with Li frequently visiting Tianlong Temple to burn incense over the years, I finally connected the dots. Xue Wei might have become a monk."
Xue Wei hung his head and fell to his knees with a thud, "General Zhan, Madam, Eldest Miss, it is I, Xue Wei, who wronged you. I deserve to die a thousand deaths!"
Until he saw the always calm Xue Wei reveal a look of remorse, Zhan Beicang’s thoughts were pulled back from his memories, and he finally faced the fact that Xue Wei was not dead.
At this moment, all of Zhan Beicang’s emotions exploded!
His chest heaved violently, he grabbed Xue Wei’s collar and delivered a punch to Xue Wei’s cheek.
"To think I considered you a brother, what have you done!"
Xue Wei staggered, his cheek struck to the side, the corner of his lips bleeding. He did not resist and knelt down again, saying, "General Zhan, I am guilty!"
Zhan Xuerou had never thought that Xue Wei wasn’t dead. She looked at her father with disgust and tearfully asked, "Why didn’t you die? Didn’t you take a knife for the foster father? Why didn’t you die!"
Her venomous gaze seemed to want to kill her own father, her voice hoarse as she roared, "You are a deserter, unfit to be a soldier or a father!"
Xue Wei’s heart was pierced by Zhan Xuerou’s words. He bowed his head in deep remorse, "You are right, I am a deserting soldier. When your mother was pregnant, I wanted to escape home and live incognito, never to fight again. Rou’er, you have not experienced it, the battlefields full of stacked corpses, lives snuffed out like ants in an instant, the vivid red blood and intestines strewn on the ground, those heads severed by the enemy’s swords belonging to the brothers who just yesterday shared meals and banter with you..."
Zhan Lan empathized with Xue Wei’s words, even if her grandfather had found death row prisoners for her to practice, killing and the first time on the battlefield were two completely different matters.
Her first time on the battlefield in the previous life left her trembling, the first one fell beside her, splattering her face with blood. The warmth of the blood and the smell of it froze her in place.
If not for Xiao Chen calling her name in time, perhaps her head would have also been severed by the enemy.
After she killed that first enemy, and saw the enemy’s entrails drawn out by her spear, she leaned over her horse and retched uncontrollably.
Not everyone can overcome that kind of fear.
Not everyone can join the army; not everyone has the courage to die for their country and their people!
Xue Wei looked at Zhan Beicang, whose gaze was filled with anger and disappointment.
Zhan Beicang had enlisted the same year as him. As the legitimate son of the old General Zhan Xinzhang, Zhan Beicang could have entered the army camp holding the rank of Young General.
However, he never disclosed his identity to anyone and lived and trained with them as an ordinary soldier.
He didn’t throw around the rank of Young General, and with the other four who lived alongside them, they were as close as brothers.
Until the war started, all the other four in the same tent were sacrificed, leaving only him and Zhan Beicang.
It was only then that he learned Zhan Beicang’s true identity was that of the Young General.
Thus, relying on Zhan Beicang’s trust, he secretly prepared to escape. Only Zhan Beicang witnessing the plan and acting as his testimony allowed him to leave the camp.
As he spoke, Xue Wei’s Adam’s apple bobbed, his whole body trembled, covering his face as he cried out.
He was too scared, he wanted so desperately to live. Unlike General Zhan and other comrades who courageously disregarded life and family, he was a coward!
Tears welled in Xue Wei’s eyes, beating his chest in continued confession, "I owe so much to General Zhan. Despite my lowly identity, he treated me as a brother, but I’m just a useless coward!"
Xue Wei knelt and fiercely kowtowed to Zhan Beicang, "In my heart are only my wife and children, only my small family and not the big family!"
Zhan Beicang grit his teeth, kneeling in front of him in disgraceful kowtow was a brother, Xue Wei, who had shared a tent with him for three years. He asked in a deep tone: "What really happened back then, how did you survive?"
Xue Wei, weeping uncontrollably, continued, "In the battle of Guanling, I tied metal sheets on myself, with a pouch filled with chickens’ blood, pretending to take a knife for you, hoping to fake my death and escape back home. Even if discovered, I could feign amnesia..."
Xue Wei shook his head, regretting his decision with anguish, "But that blow was too heavy, and in the end, I fainted, buried under corpses, escaping through the flames. When I quietly returned home, Li was gone, only later did I find out Li had swapped our daughter and your daughter’s identities."
Zhan Beicang’s brows furrowed tightly, hands clenched into fists.
Xue Wei looked to Zhan Xuerou, "Father has no face to be seen by people, so I became a monk to atone..."
Zhan Xuerou glared at Xue Wei in anger, cursing, "You are just a coward; you are not fit to be my father!"
"Stop!" Zhan Beicang turned to Zhan Xuerou, "Your father may be a coward, but you, like your mother, only complain without gratitude, selfish, cruel! He undoubtedly is fitting as your father! He dared not acknowledge you for your prosperity! Sacrificed having a home for you, killed for you!"
Zhan Xuerou was stunned, Zhan Beicang had never scolded her like this before.
As the truth came to light, Zhan Beicang was heartbroken to the point where he could hardly breathe.
His eyes full of pain, he gazed at Zhan Lan, "It’s I, Zhan Beicang, who is unworthy to be Lan’er’s father! I seem to have given her nothing, yet repeatedly hurt her heart!"
Thinking of all the burdens Zhan Lan carried alone for the Zhan Family over the years, Zhan Beicang felt troubled, unjust! He’s unfit to be a father!
Zhan Lan met Zhan Beicang’s eyes but lowered her gaze, avoiding looking at him.
Such behavior from Zhan Beicang she was not accustomed to. Mu Yan held her hand, brushing her fingers, she smiled at him.
Her other hand was held by someone else, as Zhan Lan turned to see Qin Shuang, eyes red with tears.
"Lan’er, your father and mother have wronged you."
Zhan Lan squeezed Qin Shuang’s hand in return, "Mother, it’s all in the past."
Xue Wei lifted his gaze to Zhan Beicang, "General Zhan, it was all because of me, if it weren’t for my cowardice, my fear of death, there wouldn’t have been an escape plan, no scheme to fake my death, no guilt that prompted you to bring the pregnant Li into the Zhan Family, it’s all our own doing!"
Zhan Xuerou crawled on her knees beside Xue Wei, furiously pounding his shoulders with her fists, "It’s all because of you, all because of you!"